AH. To live in wonder.

IN TRODUCTION #

They say it is profoundly important to retain your childlike sense of wonder. Don’t they? I say it. I say it a lot. I don’t know if they’re all and you’re all saying it, too, but for fucksakes retain your sense of wonder K?

Got it?

Cause I got it, buddy. I got it in suits and spades.

Allow me to enumerate:

CHAPTERRRRRR 1 #

AH. To live in wonder.

I am in wonder all the time.

All the time it (wonder) is washing washing over me.

I wonder… if my happiness will ever not be fleeting.

I wonder… why everything I say feels like a necessary lie that I don’t know the truth to.

I wonder when I should be working if I should be working and what I should be working on, like, really, you know REALLY really.

I wonder if some day I will kick apart the bitterness that has caked itself onto every inch of my surface and grown hard. I wonder if I will find that joyful exuberant innocent inefficient wonder.

I wonder uselessly, thoroughly, intensely, interminably.

I wonder if the ‘wonder’ I espouse is the same as the wondering I lose myself in just without the worry, with somehow taking joy in the initial unknowing and letting it hang there unsullied. I wonder if that sentence made sense

So yes. I wonder.
I wonder, alright, but I don’t wonder all right.

Here’s to tomorrow. Here’s to later today.